How beer saved my life

How beer saved my life

How the Triathlonbox teams brains work.... 

This is from a few years ago but I'm working on an other one at the moment.  There are going to be three in the series, with one of them possibly never reaching this website due to the "saved me life" content.  Here is how beer saved my life...


On a bored Friday morning, I decided to see if beer had, in fact, saved my life. The theory uses the following basic assumptions:


1 lb of fat is approximately 3000 calories


My weight = 14 stone = 196 lb


As we know, the human body is 2/3 water, hence using the conservative assumption that the remaining 1/3 of the body has a calorific value of 3000 calories per lb, then the body has a total energy of 196 x 1/3 x 3000 = 196,000 calories.


My total beer consumption is estimated based on

the following assumptions:

Age now = 30

Age Started Drinking = 18

Average number of pints per week = 15

Average calories per pint = 150


Thus total calorie intake from beer over the past 12 years is thus 13x15x150x52 = 1,404,000 calories


I can thus conclude that if I had never had a beer I would weigh approximately minus 86 stone and hence would not be alive today, thus:


Beer saved my life.  QED


It must be borne in mind that this simple analysis is based on beer intake alone and does not include the effect of bar snacks, peanuts, kebabs, bags of chips, burgers and the 624 unnecessary curries that have been consumed as a fine accompaniment to a night on the piss.